Women are already charged guilty for a lot of things and sometimes even for working by society; as an icing on the cake – Once they become mother, they start generating big-time mommy guilt themselves. Women! Isn’t world a place already harsh enough for whatever good and bad decision you take for yourselves?
I can understand the dilemma, have seen my mother battling with the same guilt and dilemma. Yes! I am a child who has grown up in the same environment as your kids’. Believe me you, I get both the sides. But, even before we begin the tips to get over the guilt, let me tell you this- You shouldn’t be feeling guilty; your kids are going to grow into very responsible, mature and independent adults.
Also, here’s a revelation to make you feel even better
According to a study, 11% of non-working, 18% part-time, and 4 in ten working women said they don’t spend enough time with their children.
Understand it isn’t your work but how you manage your work and life that matters.
If even all this didn’t suffice, here are a few tips to get over the guilt of not giving enough time to your child or leaving him or her home because of work.
Make a credo
Answer the set of questions asked below-
- Why did you choose to be a working mom?
- Do you love your job? What keeps you motivated?
- What are your achievements?
- How many career-related goals have you achieved?
Frame quotes or short statements out of them and repeat those statements in your mind whenever you are in self- doubt and the mommy guilt is springing.
Stay away from the aggravators
Several people instead of comforting you, aggravate your guilt. Apart from them, there are some who are themselves going through the mommy guilt. Stay away from all of them or learn the mantra to stay unaffected.
It’s okay to not be the supermom- EVERYTIME!
Accept the fact that you may not be able to fulfil your responsibility as a mother every single time. For the times, when you are not able to, compensate some other time.
It’s a matter of a few years
Your child will grow in a couple of years so there’s nothing to be guilty about. Compromising your career or letting your guilt take a toll on you just isn’t worth it.
Set your priorities right. Your work, kid and family are important but your health (mental and physical) is equally important. So, don’t exhaust yourself, conserve your energy after office for your kid instead of cooking, cleaning and other house chores. The Indian families are still not accustomed to appointing maids for the same, but it is the need of the hour. There are high chances that you will end up not giving time to your child and yourself if you will get tangled in all of this.
Remember, the initial years of your toddler are important and won’t come back, spend your time with him or her, whenever you can. Moreover, as your child starts going to school, start delegating some of the responsibilities like ironing at least their own clothes themselves and keeping their belongings at their respective places like the shoes, uniform etc. They will grow before you will even know.
So, say no to mommy guilt start raising your management game today by using an HR software and the aforementioned tips!